We arrived at the JFK airport and went straight to the hotel.
We were at the hotel by noon.
The first thing we saw at the hotel was the receptionist. Her name was Chanel.
“Hi, how can I help you”
“I’ve booked room 1408 for 2 nights.”
“That is correct, here are your keys sir”
When I walked into the room, I saw a fruit basket, with apple, carrots and salads.
The mini-fridge was filled with liquor and red-bulls.
I was walking down the street when I saw a murder in an ally.
He was saying “this is a time to kill” and that was when I heard the scream.
The murder shot the victim with a desert eagle.
A child also witnessed the murder and screamed “Mooom!” and started crying.
In the sky were many different birds, eagles, blackbirds and seagulls.
On the ground where hammers, screwdrivers and broken lightbulbs.
The piece begins well as travel writing, and the travelers even meet a local person, although Chanel is not very interesting. Then it goes over into fiction when the murder happens, and - what's worse - this happens completely without any forewarning. Travel writing should not read as fiction.
ReplyDeleteVery much based on using lists whenever you have to rattle off some ingredients - not terribly natural sounding, nor very creative. Where are the words from the three signs, anyway?
Generally - far too random!